Update

Jack
"I can't." (Dude, yes you can.)
"You can't get me!" (Why would I want to?)
"No!" (Um, actually, yes Jack.)

Hugo
"Drains!"
"In the tunnel!"
"Missy!"
"Nonnights T."

Mark:
"My mum wiped her glasses with my booger and then it was on her and she said GROSS!"

Michael:
Dragons.

Sydney:
Heeheehee!!!

Arrogant Prick Dad:
"We're getting rid of the shape ball." (Mum: We're what?! Me: Loser.)
"You need to find a boyfriend with a car." (Are you offering me a lift home? Creep.)

I wanna be Syd

I want to be a four-year-old forever. Or Little Miss Syd.

You have to paint pictures or do collages all day. Then people say nice things about them, no matter what.

You have ride around bikes and be pushed on swings and go on bear hunts all day.

You get to sleep for two hours in the middle of every day.

You have your own personal hairdresser (which I would kill for and is the main point of my jealousy of Syd. I love people brushing my hair).

Seriously. How awesome would that be.

Incidentally, my dad is getting a prettiful calendar and Christmas card that I collaged for him all by myself at creche. He'll take it to work and be so very proud of his clever daughter.

Things I've Learned

7am is not merely a fictional device.

7am as a real time is muchly overrated.

If you begin work at 7am, the morning goes for-freaking-ever.

You do get a morning tea break though, which is nice.

A longer lunch break is over-rated. What the hell are you gonna do for the extra fifteen minutes? Nothing, that's what.

Being left alone in a playground (or a department store) is not as much fun when it seems like your parents have forgotten to pick you up.

If I swing real hard, I really can touch the shadecloth.

Things I Remember Part 1

Thinking about my own creche days:

One day I really wanted to be patted, but I assume that I went to sleep by myself or was too old to be patted or something, but no one was patting me.

Finally (probably cos I was annoying them by not going to sleep, or they got all the rowdy kids off to sleep) someone came to pat me.

BUT instead of stroking my back like I wanted (hair even would have been ok) I got a fully hard PAT on my back (or bum maybe) which was
a) nowhere near what I wanted, and
b) way more likely to keep me awake than put me to sleep.

However, I assume I had a sleep that day (but maybe not) but if I did, I feel sure it was out of self-defence so I didn't get freaking patted to death.

Cos T and I are so awesome

We're Going On A Bear Hunt!

Princess was all "I wanna go on a bear hunt." I think she just wanted some company on a walk while she pretended to look for bears but really got a personal walk with an adult, but I grabbed T and said "We're going on a bear hunt," and asked a few kids if they wanted to come and we soon had a big group following us on our hunt. Hugo came too, looking very confused at first, since he knows that the Bear Hunt book is "gooone, gooone" from the bookshelves in our room, but getting into it a bit more later.

As an aside, I know MJ doesn't like T and I hanging out together when we're outside, but since we ended up with more than half the kids tagging along with us, I think two teachers were justified and she can just bite me.

So we went

through the long wavy grass, swishy swashy
through the thick oozy mud, squelch squelch
through the deep cold river, splash splash
through the big dark forest, stumble trip
through the swirling whirling snowstorm, woooooh

until we got to the narrow gloomy cave

where we ended up at the corner of the fence where a tree is right in the corner

and they tiptoed tiptoed while I went and hid my
shiny wet nose
big furry ears
big googly eyes

until the BEAR chased them
back through everything
up the stairs
forgot to shut the door
back downstairs, shut the door, back upstairs
into bed, under the covers (ok back to the side of the shed, cowering in fear)

We're not going a bear hunt again!

Until next week cos the kids love us cos
T and I are so freaking awesome!

Hehe get it?

Hugo is lately obsessed with the drains in the sinks and bathroom floor.

Hugo: Drain.
Me: Yes Hugo it's a drain. It's dirty. Come and wash your hands please.
Hugo: Round white drain.
Me: Yes that's right.
Hugo [cos I'm not allowed to just agree]: One round white drain.
Me [cos I have to echo]: Yes Hugo, it's a round white drain. Wash hands?

Hugo: Orange drain [and absolutely cracks up laughing. And laughing. And laughing].

Cos it's not orange. But he said it was. But it's not... get it? He made a joke. It's funny. Right?

Logic

Damon, Hailey and Syd were playing under one of the tables.

M (yelling across the room, as she does): Damon! Hailey! Sydney! We don't hide under the tables.

Damon: Where can we hide then?

I'm back!

Went into work for a visit on Tuesday. They all loved me. It was very nice. Even Matthew and Rachelle who moved up from the nursery while I was gone wanted hugs, so that was a nice introduction for them and me.

Hugo is freaking amazing. "One blue plate." Oh my god. Still a cranky little shit when he hasn't had enough food or sleep. Jack is permanently a little shit. Syd is cute as hell and knows her cheeky grin forces adults to smile back, even when she's ignoring instructions.

M, the qualified in our room, annoys me, but not as much as Sh did so I guess it's ok. She does an awful lot of sitting and shouting instead of running and talking and playing and reading and laughing.

We don't have the bear hunt book or the dinosaur one in our room anymore. That's ok. I know them off by heart anyway. Hugo got all confused when I started reciting the bear hunt, telling me, "It's gooone, it's gooone." Hehe.

Three days next week.

I miss you

Dear everyone,

I miss you very much.
I would like my job back at the end of November.
I have no idea how you're going to control Jack til then. I do not profess to be able to do it after that time either.
I have the urge to sit in the kids' section of the library and recite books outloud.
I am sure that I am forgetting my signs.

And also, I miss you.

Love,
Missy.

PS I think it will be an interesting study of kids' memory banks when I do get back. They'll still love me. Right?

Yuuummmmmm

It was my last day on Thursday.

I was going to bring in a cake, but Michelle said she'd make one so Goo could have it too. She promised it would be a gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, yummy, chocolate cake.
Four out of five isn't too bad.

At least it wasn't mixed with ice-cream like the one I bought for the staff lunch. Yeah, oops.
Everyone was really nice. Got a card and a gift voucher, which I didn't expect, but helped fund yesterday's shopping trip.

I miss Syd. Thought of some great ideas for her hair last night. Will have to save them up til the end of the year.

There is a ccc pretty close. Don't know if I want to go there again. Besides, it wouldn't be same. So I guess that's the end of that. Although there is apparantly an org'n called Students4Kids or some suchness.

I guess you never know.

All Good Things

I have three more days of work, then I am moving halfway across the country, to a place which in addition to being far, far way, also has no Sydney, Jack, Hugo, Grace, Mark, Princess, Tania or fortnightly income. Or funny, sad, ironic, poignant, hilarious, loving, hysterical anecdotes.

I still have to tell the boss, and Michelle and David.

A Day In The Life Of Jack

Jack was a little shit today.

He stole Charlotte's hat, ran away with it, and threw it when he realised he was being pursued.
He stole Patrick's hat, put it in the toilet, and flushed it.
He took all the bags off the lockers and threw them on the ground.
He grabbed all the books he could see (including the one Sophie was reading) and threw them in the air.
He took Mark's shirt and threw it in the bin. Guess what we had for lunch? That's right, spaghetti bolognaise.

But then came the high point of my day.

I heard a crash then a cry, and saw the flash of a bucket in motion.

Hugo likes throwing leaves in the air. He sometimes has difficulty distinguishing the difference between leaves, and say cups, plates, trains, toys, blocks. Jack has picked up this habit. This is annoying.
But back to the story.

Jack had thrown the bucket in the air - with a cheeky grin no doubt - and gravity, clearly on my side, had dealt him a smack upside the head.

Little Miss Syd

We now have J&H's little sis Sydney in our room. She is very cute and very smart. She likes having her hair done, and she always has lots of hairties, clips, and headbands from home so we can be very creative. She has an unfortunate habit of trying to follow her brothers outside or away from the table, but I'm working on it. She has the trademark family cheeky grin which she overuses cos she knows she is cute. She loves easily and is always excited to see the people she loves. Me and T being two of them, Sh not.

Morning tea, the 'rents had just left. Syd wasn't to happy about this and J(casual) was trying to settle her, but Syd was having none of it. Knows how to crack it with the best of them. Meanwhile, I was trying to make sure H didn't escape from the table and actually ate his morning tea, and watch everyone else at the table. When all (except Syd) seemed peaceful, I asked J if she wanted me to try with Syd. A contentious issue but I thought I should ask, because it was my room and because dad was standing watching at the window. She accepted, handed Syd to me, and ten seconds later, Little Miss Syd was all smiles (or at least, not all tears.) Couldn't resist a look at dad, who awarded me with a smile and a nod.
Guess I pass.

Staffing Stich Part 2

Turns out when I said 'two weeks' it should actually have been 'three months'. There is a big difference between the two.

As far as I can work out-
In the nursery: L and R do not want M there anymore as they feel she is incompetent. Although they don't mind her being thus in another room. J's position will be open soon and R will be applying.
In the middle room: P & K live together and therefore do not want to work together as well. If P goes, K will stay, but if P stays, then K will go to the nursery.
In our room: Sh is an idiot, but looks like staying. The nursery doesn't want her, I asked. T is applying for S's position which she just vacated. And I have applied to a school down south. Which leaves 0 of 3.

My first impressions of Sh were accurate.
1. She can't control the kids, most notably Princess, J&H, and Grace, all of whom like escaping during inside time and mealtimes.
2. She goes to the toilet like a lot.
3. She talks. All the time. And doesn't listen to the answers. So I tune her out. Then when she tells me the center's burning down, I won't be listening.

T and I made a list of things to 'discuss' at our team meeting. The meeting didn't happen but we passed the list on to Al. Don't know how much got through.

She has ideas, I'll give her that much. She just does not know how to do things in practice.

Lost in Translation

I don't even go to work and I come home with a story. Geez.

I'd been at the blood bank donating, come out, and sat to have a drink and a chocolate. A mother had been donating at the same time as me and we ended up at the same table, along with her two girls, I'm thinking 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 and their ten-month-old baby brother. The nurse woman comes out, gives us our drinks and two lollipops to the two girls.

The baby is chatting away to himself next to the elder of the two girls (Sarah. The other one was Charlotte, in case anyone's interested.) She listens to him for a little while, then turns back to the table and says "Connor wishes he could have a lollipop too." Their mother goes "Do babies eat lollipops?" (obviously an old conversation, as the two replied in near unison.) "Noo," shaking their heads. Sarah thinks about this for a while then tells us,

"Connor says he has a lollipop in his dreams."

Enough Said

Faith: T, Liam said "butt".
T: Faith, just don't worry about it, everyone has one.
[then to me] Watch this.
[then to Emma] Hey Em, you have a big butt don't you?
Emma: Yes, I have a big butt.
T and I crack up laughing but Emma's not done yet.
Emma: I have sand.

LOL!!!

A kingdom without a princess

Princess is away this week.

Cool hey.

No, that was it. What you were waiting for the punch line? That was the punch line. It's so peaceful. And yet... NO! Just enjoy it. God knows it'll be over soon enough.

Just Do It

No, it's not an ad for Nike.

We all know Mark is a fussy little shit when it comes to food. But as I was at work and sick for real following my sick from a hangover day off, I had little sympathy.

He's a smart little bugger though, gotta give him that. When it became clear I wasn't going to just let him pack away, he starting playing around with his spoon, which I'd sent him away from the table for last week. Nice try. But no. Finally, when I was on the floor with Grace and Joseph, while Sh was wrestling with Hugo and Jack, he was about to pack up. "MARK!" I'd like to think in a voice of thunder, but more like a weak sunshower. "SIT DOWN." On a tangent, it's like he's just learned 'no'. Wasn't he sposed to go through that a long time ago? Anyway, I went back to our traditional, "You just have to try it, see if you like it" bullshit.

He sits down, spoons up some "chicken," and gets to pack away.

I will bet a months' pay it was rice and not chicken on his spoon.

Staffing sitch

T was away on holidays last week. So it was S being T, me being me, and new-S being A, who is not coming back. Looks like nS will be A forever at the end of her two weeks' trial. Not sure I like this plan.
1. She backs down from Princess and call the cavalry in (me, which is such a joke) which I don't think is setting a very good precedent.
2. She goes to the bathroom, like, every half hour.
3. She asks all these questions, like, What should I do with this?
nS: Should we keep this paint?
S: Nah, it's not really worth keeping it over the weekend.
nS: We could if we had some plastic and put it in the fridge.
S: We don't have any plastic.
nS: I could just get some clingwrap.
S: We don't have any clingwrap.
Me: I don't know if it's worth keeping it. We could just make some more.
nS: I know! [returns with the paint covered in a plastic glove. She puts it in the fridge.]

Me and S: Or we could just do that.

I didn't check on my way home but I wouldn't be suprised to find the paint no longer in the fridge, maybe say, washed down the sink. S will be glad to get out of our room.

Freak outs

Jack came in for the afternoon with a pink cat face-painted on his face. Very cute actually.. Unfortantely, Sophie didn't think so. Freaked out. Wouldn't go near him, didn't want to sit down for afternoon tea cos she knew he'd be at the table too. So S sold her have a sit in the reading area. Unfortunately, she then told Jack to put his sheet away - in the reading area. The pink cat stalks his prey.

Mark, normally the cluey one about everything, doesn't like policemen. Hid behind the wall as far away from the road as he could. He's done it before too, when they were out with a radar gun. This time, wouldn't sit facing the road for afternoon snack and there was no way he would come for a walk with me to the fence while the cops were still there. Had a big chat with him about how they'll help you and things like that. A bit of poetic license with my bike story, but hopefully he got the message. Maybe his parents speed.

And before all this, we had photo day, where none of the expected freak-outs occurred. The others were to pay me back for getting complacent.